First, please read the article above. You won’t really understand my post without a frame of reference. It is not long, and you will find yourself (most likely) nodding along in agreement. Men, and women without children, don’t worry, there is something to take away for you, too.
You read it? Okay. Let me begin. Actually, where to even begin? At this second, a Taylor Swift lyric pops into my mind: “I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit, been saying yes instead of no.”
That is me. I am on some new shit. This blog. Not teaching. Not working in mental health. Resigning from two jobs I was passionate about. But am I doing good? The jury is still out, and it looks like the jury will be out for a while.
140,000 jobs. ALL WOMEN. Let’s put this figure into perspective, because I like perspectives.
The Philadelphia Eagle’s Lincoln Financial Field’s capacity is 69,594- multiply that by two and that equals 139,188. So, you fill up the entire stadium TWICE with cheering, rambunctious Philly fans, and you still do not equal how many women became unemployed last month.
An estimated 58,220 soldiers perished in the Vietnam war from 1964-1975. Multiply that by two and you have 116,440 deaths. So, technically speaking we could have had 10 more years of that war with the same average number of deaths, and it would still be over 20,000 shy of 140,000. Thank goodness we did not see that many soldiers perish, but this exercise isn’t to get you to think about dying, it is to get you to put these numbers into perspective. This is a catastrophe that will have dire consequences, much like war. However, unlike the battlefields of Vietnam, we can somewhat control the overall outcome if we could just understand one another, if we would just listen.
Unfortunately for so many of us, no real change will happen instantly, or even while we are still members of the workforce. As Hammer states in the article, the loss of women in the workforce is just as much a cultural catastrophe as it is a call for legislative action, but which will change more quickly? Our culture or our laws? This questioning of legislative action versus cultural shifting is not a new one (which one works faster, better, more efficiently?) In fact, this question can be related to abolition in the 1800s.
I should probably explain- for those of you who don’t remember or didn’t pay attention in history class, abolition as I am referring to here, was a reform movement born in the 17th and 18th centuries to end not only the slave trade, but slavery itself.
Stay with me here, this is important.
Two distinct factions arose in the abolitionist movement in the 1800s: moral suasion and political suasion. Some abolitionists, like William Lloyd Garrison believed that politics, legislation and laws would do nothing if people did not feel slavery was morally “wrong,” enter moral suasion. Others like Frederick Douglass argued that political activism and legislation was necessary in order to force citizens to assess the morality of slavery later, and hello political suasion.
In hindsight, both were actually right in their arguments, but my point has nothing to do with that. They never really found the answer to which suasion was better, political or moral. Ironically, what ended up being the straw that broke the proverbial abolitionist’s back and made them divide? Women. Yup.
Many abolitionists actually stopped working with men like William Lloyd Garrison and Frederick Douglass or left the cause altogether because they believed that women had no place in the abolitionist movement. Let that sink in for a moment.
Women speaking out against slavery were too taboo, too scandalous, too, well, too female for many abolitionists. Garrison and Douglass might have disagreed on moral and political suasion, but they both believed women should have rights, too, and gasp, they believed women should be able to speak up about things! Well, to hell with the whole cause then, women shouldn’t think, let alone have opinions, even about slavery.
So, how does this relate to us today? Well, firstly women are disproportionately losing jobs and/or leaving jobs as a direct result of Covid-19, while simultaneously feeling like we just can’t keep up. We cannot do everything that is expected of us in personal and professional capacities, subsequently falling into a cycle of low self-worth and self doubt. We make sacrifices that aren’t always expected of men and when we speak up about it we are too often pegged as complaining, overthinking, too emotional, or in some cases, hysterical (I have personal experience with the H word in my professional life, and let me tell you, “there is nothing like a mad woman” - thanks to Taylor Swift again for putting difficult sentiments into song form that I can get behind).
What history has taught women is that if we speak up about something that we feel strongly about, we are more likely to be harshly judged and broken down than we are to get positive reinforcement or any kind of help. Even if that help is just for someone to listen and UNDERSTAND; someone else to admit, hmm, maybe this is a larger issue? Hammer’s article in Time clearly proves that we are in fact, regressing. Although it may not feel as pressing or glaringly obvious at this very moment for you personally, it could put women’s rights in general back at least 10 years.
Now to tie up my historical relation into a pretty little bow! Not only are we regressing in regards to women’s rights, it feels as though we are regressing in race relations as well. The similarities are not only clear but alarming. Women and African American’s plight for equality are inextricably interwoven throughout United States’ history. At this point, you can’t really speak about one without speaking about the other; quite different at their core, yet undeniably parallel.
Most things mentioned previously that many women are feeling, are sentiments countless African Americans find themselves feeling as well. Again, when an African American speaks up about their feelings on the matter of equality, they are (just like women) ridiculed, “complaining about something that happened over a century ago” or dubbed reverse racist (side note on this term- it was only recently added to several online dictionaries because it has been used so much, but scholars and experts agree, it is NOT a thing: racism is racism is racism).
Self worth and self doubt are like invasive species, once they find a habitat remotely amicable, they can destroy even the strongest of species. In the end, it doesn’t really matter that women or African Americans have political “rights” or “equality under the law.” It has become demonstrably clear that this so-called equality can be undermined and shattered all too easily.
If anytime you speak about a topic so important to you that it hurts you are immediately shot down, scorned, ignored or classified as hysterical; you internalize it. You learn to speak up less. You understand your role in society.
This is me speaking up. This is me not understanding my role in society. This is me making relations and finding common ground. This is me imploring others who may think this post is ridiculous, to take one moment, 10 seconds even, and imagine being in someone else’s skin; someone undeniably different than you. If we imagine ourselves in circumstances foreign to us navigating situations we have never faced, and in most cases will never face, perhaps we could get back to the humanity of one another. Perhaps we could respect each other. Perhaps we could, together, perpetuate understanding and not only morally persuade the masses, but politically persuade them to achieve true equality. Thanks Garrison and Douglass, for not giving up, and for not giving in.
That is my Monday Perspective.
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