Monday Perspectives- 4/5/21

Peef turkey. Yes, you read that right. Sharks enjoy eating peef turkey out of plastic Easter eggs. And this ridiculous statement, a mispronunciation, a declaration of fact that was delivered as assuredly as it was impeccably timed, is what made me stop and realize that things are okay. I am okay, we are okay, it will be okay.

Easter was not as we had planned. On Thursday evening my husband got word that a coworker was feverish. Friday morning came with congestion and aches for my husband followed by a call that his coworker had a positive Covid test. Friday afternoon, came my husband’s Covid test. Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning included masking in our home, sleeping in separate beds and staying outside or apart as much as possible. Sunday after Easter egg hunting just the three of us, a positive Covid test result was reported for my husband. Then, he packed up, went to the river house, and I disinfected like a mad woman. The type of cleaning where there’s open doors, windows, an entire can of Lysol, an exorbitant amount of Clorox wipes, several loads of laundry and a lot of anxiety.

My baseline is often anxious, but this took it to a new level. What we thought was just a bit of post nasal drip for allergies, is now Covid. Thank goodness we erred on the side of caution, however, my son and I were still exposed. We were sooooo close to the end. I, just one does away, and all of us avoiding being a statistic for over a year. But alas, here we are, in the thick of it. I tried my best to be assuring and supportive. To hide my anger for the person who exposed my husband and subsequently brought it to our doorstep. To disguise my panic at all the what ifs. What if my husband gets severe quickly? What if my son gets Multisystem inflammatory syndrome (MIS-C) as a result? What if I test positive and can’t function? What if we both get really sick and cannot care for Alden?

Instead of outwardly saying this, I cleaned. Instead of going to that place of terror, I packed up some groceries for my husband. Instead of letting the fear turn to overwhelming anger, I cooked Easter dinner and dessert. Instead of crying, I sat in the sun with my little boy and was as goofy as possible- making Easter as fun as it could be just us, the dogs, and our new tadpoles. When my husband came back that evening to eat outdoors and be sent off with leftovers, I tried to act as though I wasn’t scared.

But I was. I let some family and friends know the situation- and although my family is far away, I was put at ease. I know that if things did get bad, they are a 6 hour drive away and would drop anything to help. My friends here, who have become like family, said “do you need anything?” and “please let me know what I can do if you need it!” and for one of the first times in my life, I realized, they meant it. I just needed to ask, and as I have done for many others, kindness or help would be paid forward.

I have never been one to ask for help or admit I was scared. I have always felt as though I would be viewed as weak, lesser than, or incapable. But, Covid has changed things for so many. Including myself. Things are different. Perspectives have changed. We shouldn’t have to bear things on our own when we have people who care. People who love us. Family, friends, and in many cases strangers. People who have shared experiences and far more common ground than ever known before. Why did it take a global pandemic to get us there?

Simply put, I think our humanity is really only observed in-depth in the midst of times that test that humanity. Much like my son, Alden’s comment about sharks liking peef turkey. That moment of hilarity and clarity (see what I did there?) was just what I needed to stop thinking about all the what ifs for a second, and instead focus on the what is.

And that is my Monday Perspective.

Shout out to my fam and friends who made me feel better!

This week’s song may seem cliche, however, this is a song I sang to my son, Alden since before he was born. I have a tattoo of three birds, and each night before bed we say “I love you three little birds, always always, always” - I listened to this song religiously growing up and it just was needed to end this post :)

https://youtu.be/HNBCVM4KbUM