Monday Perspectives 5/10/21

I was scrolling through instagram early Sunday and came across a ton of memes and sayings about Mother’s Day. One in particular stood out, and I should have reposted it or saved it because damn it, I cannot find it! It stood out to me because it was not just about moms, those who want to be moms, those that have strained relationships with their moms, moms with strained relationships with their children, step moms, adoptive moms, foster moms, etc etc etc.

Instead, this was about all the appreciation posts and the outpouring of love and support shown on Mother’s Day, this sense that, “hey- we see you, we appreciate you, no matter what your title is, was or will be one day.” It turned that idea into an essential question - how incredible would it be if we lived in a world where there was that much love and appreciation every single day? Not just for moms, but people in general. What if we lived in a world where we built each other up and gave such profound positive feedback and focused on what individuals do well that it was a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Clearly this sentiment is ferociously idyllic and is far too on the utopian scale of social norms and societal standards, but the idea made me stop and think.

If once a day, something positive about me was acknowledged, no matter how small, I would be ridiculously motivated to do more, to be more. Knowing that even small wins were still wins, and that I am enough as I am in this very moment, could just give me the assurance I need to understand my value, worth and feel comfortable enough to take chances. If the acknowledgement was pure, unsolicited and not just for the celebration of a holiday or birthday - - - dang. Are you feeling it right now? It is powerful.

The power of positivity is REAL. However, it can also be pervasive.

Sometimes you must allow yourself to wallow, or acknowledge pain, anger, frustration, you name it. It is unhealthy to not feel those things when you need to feel them, especially if you say “but I am so lucky” or “I have so much to be thankful for therefore I cannot feel sad, mad, etc…” Nope. You CAN feel those things and that is OKAY. You do not need to be Positive Pat every second of every day. Just because you are pissed or upset or hurting doesn’t mean all of the great things about you or your life have magically disappeared. It doesn’t mean you are ungrateful or a failure or superficial or all of the other things you may tell yourself (or sadly, hear from others). It means you are human. It means you need a minute, or many minutes, to feel what you need to feel before getting back to positivity.

Perhaps if we did more building one another up, focused more on appreciating one another, celebrated each other for small, medium and big wins alike, we would have far fewer moments in which we needed to feel anything other than positive. It feels to me as though the two premises are intrinsically entwined.

Anyway, this is way more philosophical than I intended but hey, if you know me you know me! My aim after pondering this all is to give those around me, my friends, family, acquaintances and even people I have only brief exchanges with, a dose of appreciation and love, even when it is something seemingly small.

And that is my Monday Perspective…

Today’s song choice is a mutual decision by Justin and I - Alicia Keys’ “Superwoman”