You ever know how you feel but you just can’t express it appropriately? Not through words, actions, body language or prose. Not really through sound, eye contact, or touch. You just FEEL.
That is me today.
Today I started a 2nd part time position. Yes, after a bachelor's in psychology from a private university, after earning a master’s degree in education with a 4.0, and subsequently working toward a career for 12 years, I work part time at a community college, and part time at a university.
I don’t make much money. I am overqualified for both positions.
But I FEEL.
I rather work two part time positions than do what I was doing for 12 years - rather, what I was doing where I was for seven of those twelve years.
I now FEEL valued. My supervisors speak to me as a colleague, as an intelligent, capable professional. I now FEEL respected. I have supervisors that lead by example, who are hard working and empathetic. I now FEEL supported because my supervisors communicate effectively, worry little about self aggrandizement and encourage being passionate.
At times, I miss my career. I wonder what could have been had I not been furloughed, twice, from two school districts I loved. I wonder if I would have pursued more degrees in the field of secondary education and if I would have chosen to go into leadership. I wonder if I would have had more student-athletes competing in state track meets or if my student’s AP USH test scores would have been higher than the national average. If I would still be the SADD or No Place For Hate advisor- exposing my students to new and enriching experiences while making lifelong connections. I wonder who I would be right now had I not been put in the position of accepting that contract. A contract that wouldn’t honor 5 years of prior teaching experience, capitalizing on my eagerness to get back to students.
Then I FEEL.
I was meant to go to that new district. I met some of the best people in my life there; unfortunately some of the worst people, too. But, would I change that? No. No I wouldn't. I FEEL like I was in the right place for the right amount of time. And when I FELT it was time to let go, I did.
This new path, or, these new paths I should say, will afford me value, respect, and support. They will lead to some new destination where I can FEEL.
And that is my Monday Perspectives.
Thanks to Justin, today’s song is Chet Faker “Low” - stick with it - lyrics are all the FEELS.
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