Like most people, I have a small trash can in the bathroom. This is something that seems very mundane, barely a blip on the household radar of importance, really. It wasn’t until I sat down recently and stared at it, deep in thought about lord knows what, and was caught off guard.
Probably like very few people, the contents of said trash can consisted of: a king size Reese’s wrapper, a few stink bugs, an empty yogurt container, a banana peel, clumps of dog hair, and a browned leaf from a houseplant. All of course, intermingling with the regular bathroom trash type things like kleenex and q-tips. No people, I am not rifling through the bathroom trash at some ungodly hour like a mad woman wondering what her life has turned into. But I won’t deny thinking about it. This is just what I could see. The horror!
How long had it been since I had cleaned the bathroom? How long since I emptied that cute little trash basket?
After deep breathing myself away from the self-shame and disgust, I realized something important; my house is lived in and cozy and happy and that is amazing. We have been busy. We have been a crazy, work fueled, post flood clean up (in both our private lives and Aaron’s work life), Kindergarten adjusting, soccer parent figuring out, Covid-Delta variant navigating, first broken bone fixing, figuring out my two job new reality kind of busy. That’s busy.
But everyone is BUSY. I am not always busier than the next person. They aren’t always busier than me. Busy is relative. Just like happiness, busy is not meant to be a static state. In fact, it should ebb and flow, almost to the point that the busy-ness is rhythmic, predictable and manageable. What exactly do I mean by manageable busy? The trash can tell you.
That huge Reese’s wrapper is there because my husband, son and I snuggled in bed, ate candy and watched a movie. We were all tired and we wanted to spend some time together, so we did what any responsible parent would do and ate super sugary treats in bed just before bed. I couldn’t tell you what movie we watched, but I remember Aaron and Alden arguing over who would eat the last Reese’s peanut butter cup and my heart filling when Aaron conceded only for Alden to split it with him.
The stink bugs are there because a few came into the house when Alden kept the door open too long. Subsequently, the dogs chased them around the house like maniacs. Finally after a long fought battle, they came to their final resting place right next to my bed and I decided I would rather just plop them in the upstairs trash instead of carrying around dead bugs any longer than I had to.
The empty yogurt container is there because Aaron worked from home a day to monitor part of the construction of our garage. How lucky are we that we are building anything, let alone working from home so we can ensure things are going okay?
The banana peel is there because Alden decided he wanted to eat a banana in bed with me at 7am before school. How can I say no to a cute little dude who just wants some extra time with Mommy before he is repulsed by me forever? That may be a bit drastic, but really, when your child wakes you up with a sweet smile and a “hey want to watch cartoons?” while holding a banana, you just roll with it.
The dog hair, ohhhh the dog hair. It is everywhere, always. But that dog hair will someday be missed. I cried twhen I knew I was swiffering our old pups' hair for the last time. I always curse the hair that just won’t go away no matter what I do, but damn it, it makes a house a home. When Daisy thumps that big tail as a happy good morning, or Waylon groans while snuggling up to me- that is love.
The browned bits of a houseplant? Well that is there because Alden decided to help water and clean up the upstairs plants (we have 22 houseplants, we may have a problem). And well, took a little too much off of one. “No Mommy, I can help, really! Uh oh, I am so sorry...” and into the trash the piece went, and a hug for a job well tried was had.
So really, the trash needed to be there for me to realize everything is indeed, alright. If I had taken it out earlier, the conglomeration of these random items in a small bathroom trash can wouldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t be thinking fondly of the beautiful randomness of it all or reflecting on just how happy my home is - how happy I am when all the “busy” is broken down.
So I will empty the trash now, and I will look forward to late night contemplations of my bathroom trash in the future.
Today’s tune is “Resilient” by Rising Appalachia, a couple badass banjo pickin’ babes.
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