Let’s be real; after 15 years of being with someone and 10 years of marriage to that same someone, is the expectation that every Valentine’s Day, anniversary, birthday, or special event will be exquisite? Bells, whistles, surprises, wining and dining and large romantic gestures! No. That is unrealistic.
The reality is, so much of what we have and what we do is enough, yet we consistently want more. We compare. We judge. We yearn. We long for something we don't have. Whether that something is physical, emotional, material, or metaphorical, we often strive for things that we feel are not there, instead of engrossing ourselves in what is there.
This is obviously a downside of the media culture we find ourselves immersed in. We have to consistently work at understanding that much of what we see in headlines, blurbs, features, posts is just a snippet in time. A picture or a short clip- most of it altered, to appear perfect or even appear imperfect; all for garnering clicks or followers or ratings or more. And what are those people looking for? Something that they don’t have. So in the end, whether you are the one doing the perusing and scrolling, or the one doing the posting and the featuring, ultimately you are both seeking something that you feel you don’t have.
Then suddenly, as you focus on the seeking, that moment has passed.
So today, February 14th, take a look around you, give yourself a minute to feel salty if you didn’t get something or what you expected for Valentine’s day, material or digital or metaphorical. Then, look around you again. What is there? In this moment, what do you have?
Perhaps it doesn’t seem like much - until you look more closely. Clothing, a seat, a device, a pet, a companion, a significant other, a child, a home, a full belly, a warm (or cool) place to chill, a garden, flowers, a moment’s peace, a good book, an indulgent show. Or, simply acknowledging the quiet contentment you share with a loved on who is sitting beside you, yearning for all the things they don’t have; when both of you have quite a lot of things right there.
Well now that I have channeled a bit of my inner Henry David Thoreau…
Happy Valentine’s Day, to all the people and things I have. <3
Today’s song is a classic: Crazy Love by Van Morrison
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